Ode to Mealtime Hostage

I'm feeling a little emotional today... I'm not usually but it has been an emotional week!!!  So I thought I'd share some positives we've been working on... Especially to do with eating!!!! At home we do feeding therapy and follow the DOR -Division Of Responsibility and this is how it's Success has changed things in our world ...

DOR SUCCESS TO ME : 

Is my child being able to say to me, I can't eat that mum it : looks/smells/tastes weird or the colour doesn't appeal to me and not have a melt down because it's in the house.

Being able to sit at the table and eat a salad on my plate while my son happily munches away on his safe food.

Watching him be able to pick an olive or tomato out of the share salad bowl on the table because they are his safe foods and he knows it has touched the lettuce and he is calm about it.

DOR Success to me is being able to go out for a meal, and if my child isn't keen on ordering anything off the menu, I can still take my time eating and conversing with friends/family while he happily sits at the table eating a safe snack from my bag or colouring in - knowing that on the way home I'll pull through the drive through and buy him a cheeseburger because it's okay and food is food.

It's my child knowing when they dribble crap at school about "healthy eating" that he is comfortable at the age of 9 to say food is food, it doesn't make you healthy and give a cheeky little eye roll. Or when there is another 10 millionth advert about dieting and healthy food on tv and he laughs and changes channel temporarily.

It's my child reaching across the table and asking if he can try/sniff/lick/touch something off my plate. It's not an annoying habit or a waste... it actually sets off invisible fireworks inside my brain (and celebratory tears of happiness after he is in bed)

DOR Success to me is us sitting opposite each other on the table smiling and conversing while 10 foreign objects/food sit on the table between us that I know he would never have looked at or been in the same room together 5 years ago before we started our DOR journey.

It's knowing that I'm not crazy like everyone told me I was. My child isn't playing me. His fear of food isn't fake or a game to control anything. It's him being HIM! And I accept that Wholly!!! I embrace it... It is HIS NORMAL!! And that's okay.

It took me a LONG time to get to that point. Both our mental health was suffering from the "drama" of it all! So now we eat our way. And without the beautiful lady from Mealtime Hostage's support ... I don't know if we ever would have come out on the other end. Without her support and the support of peers in the group. We would still be stuck in a crazy land type black hole .

Know that if you want DOR to work ... You need to throw yourself in. Forget what everyone else is saying and walk to your own beat. Every DOR journey is different as is every child that needs to be on that path. But it's changed our life... I don't know what I would have done without it 5 years has gotten us to these photo's and without it I'm pretty sure I'd be in a padded cell with the key thrown away somewhere ... and for that I am eternally grateful!!!

DMMC xox

Our Food Chart circa 2012

Our Food Chart 2017 (Today)

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